Marriage is a very beautiful thing, it raises one’s profile, it provides security and reduces boredom. Did I mention the warm bed?…hehehe. Any happily married woman could go on and on about the merits of marriage. It is indeed delightful!
But then again, should marriage define a woman, is it an achievement? Does being single make one a societal outcast? A husband snatcher? A headstrong person who cannot endure small problems?
Well, for some single mothers, the singleness did not come by choice. They did not plan their life and think, “Mmh, I want to have sex with just anyone, have an unwanted pregnancy and stay single after that!”
Far too long she has been spited for being single, by both men and women. But before you ridicule her farther, have you thought about this?
- That her husband could have died. She was married too, ready to live happily ever after, until the cruel enemy called death stole her husband’s life. So before you laugh at that single, struggling woman, find out her story.
- Worse still, she could have been raped and her conscience could not allow her to kill the unborn baby.
- Moreover, she could have fallen into the arms of a deceptive man and before she knew it, a baby was already on the way. He became a deadbeat dad after, scared of commitment and responsibility leaving the mum to fend for the child alone. Or will she also disappear from the child’s life because the father did too? Mothers are special people.
- There is also the woman who walked away from an execrable marriage, to save her life and her children’s. Should she have stayed, her children would be motherless or dead too. Such a mum should be lauded for her tenacity. Many women in unhappy marriages lack the courage to walk away.
- Another did it by choice. She opted to stay single because she just wanted to. She has dreams of her own and marriage isn’t one of them. Even as you laugh at her for her singleness, she is laughing at you for getting it all wrong. You think she is lonely, but she is busy. You think she is alone but she likes it that way, for her own reasons which she will not explain to the world, because it’s her life.
But some single mums are the reason why even the good ones have been piqued on and sneered upon. Our African society after all, goes by the adage, one rotten apple ruins the whole barrel.
- These single women are the envious type. The ones that do not think that so and so’s marriage can work. That they could be better wives for that man. They wonder what the man sees in that woman yet they have everything better. They hate married women out of sheer jealousy.
- Some go an extra mile. They seduce, connive and get him in the box and throw the keys to the ocean. In that ocean, they meet the sea gods for some black magic to blind the man to see no woman but her. He forgets his family and the single woman is not a single woman anymore. Enjoy while it lasts because it doesn’t last very long!
- There is a worse breed of single mums whose beds are warmed not because their beds are cold but because they love to sleep for money. They are lazy and sorry about their single status and prefer to make money the easy way by sleeping with any man who is willing to pay for sex. They feed their children through their birth channels and have no guilt about it.
To such, we tell, they quit whining when they are slandered. It’s their show and the spectators must give their feedback. Live your life but remember what they say malipo ni hapa hapa duniani. (Bad deeds will not go unpunished)
But for that super single mum, big up.
- She will toil and moil for her and her child’s upkeep the honest way. Many times she will sacrifice her happiness to make her child comfortable. Her children see her sacrifice and value the woman she is.
- Another salute for the woman who respects people’s marriages. She is God fearing and hates to be the one to put asunder what God has joined together. She is genuinely happy that her married friends are well. She knows that good things come to those who are good too.
- And for the woman who although, made a mistake or mistakes, is ready to dust off and live as a single mother, head held high. Mostly, it was not her fault that she is a single mother. She was unfortunate to be deceived by a cunning hyena who lied to her that she would be his wife, unbeknownst to her that his intentions were only to get into her pants. He had a wife and six children. There should be a special place in hell for such men!
When you cannot change things in your life, accept. Do not be angry with life, venting your anger on people around you, including your children. That child is a gift from God, take care of him/her/them in the best way you can and you will surely reap the fruits.
Respect yourself, hustle your back, don’t hustle your ass please. Eat the sweat of your hard work not the sweat of your bed minton games with strangers. Being single does not give you the certificate to be a prostitute. Many self respecting single mothers have made it in life without whoring around.
Those spiting you are probably jealous of you. Yes, your life is probably a desire for someone else stuck in a jail-like marriage. Others think they are better than you because they are married and you are not, but they do not know that things change. See this lady here 👇.
To the married woman, do not look through the marriage window and laugh at those out there because it’s raining out there and they are soaked. Women should build each other up. We share an identity of womanhood. We understand femininity in a way that no man can.We share the heavenliness of motherhood and that should bond us. Why tear each other up?
Whether single or married, one should not let themselves be defined by their marital status but for who they are first as a person.