It’s a unique experience, motherhood. How did you know you were about to be a mother? For some, it was a bad experience, an unwanted pregnancy that had just ruined the rest of your life. Yet for others it was a long wait, a miscarriage after another, a single line on the PT strip far too many times.
Yet for others it was a planned journey. Frequent checks on the mirror on that growing bump and then the bouncing angel finally arrived.
Today we encourage all these mamas, its Mother’s Day after all!
The mothers with no baby to hold
We called them mothers because they yearn to be one. A woman once said, ” I tried conceiving for two months and nothing was showing, I was almost running mad!” Just two months, now, imagine trying not for months, but years! It must be heartwrenching!
However, you know what, you are a special woman. Never be brought down by any jibes from senseless people calling you barren. Has your husband left you because you can’t bear a child? Well, good riddance! He did not deserve you anyway. Be positive, do not be depressed by something you cannot control.
Love your brother’s/sister’s or neighbour’s kids like they are yours. Visit the orphanage near you often and if you can, adopt one for yourself. Do not begrudge because that woman next door is always expectant year after year. Be the mother that will be remembered for being a great mother to many children she did not conceive. Love yourself girl! Nobody should tell you that you ain’t worth. You are a hero to many, in so many other ways. Happy Mother’s Day to you!
Mother to Rainbow baby/babies
You are in pain yet you are over the moon. The pain that you lost a pregnancy and you don’t feel like you will ever mourn that lost child enough and then the bundle of joy that came after that somehow gives you a smile, like a rainbow that appears after a very heavy storm.
It was a difficult journey and the prayer has finally been answered. How strong can a woman be! Hats off mum!
You will make it, rainbow mum. It will take time for you to accept that the other bundles did not survive. Post portem depression probably is kicking in but you can’t let yourself be beaten down. Not this time when you just did your final lap! Breathe in and out several times, think of only the good.
Smile at the gift of life that depends wholly on you. Take a step one by one. Be kind to those that think they know how you are feeling. They are only trying to help. In fact treasure the good friends that stood by you from day 1. A lot of times friends are few when days are dark. You will be a great mom! Happy Mother’s Day!
Mother to disabled kids
Being a mother is sometimes hard yet being a mother of a special child can be too hard. But you know what, you are a super mum! You ain’t just a mum, you are a doctor, a nurse, a teacher, and that kid’s best friend.
You are not alone mum! So many other mums are facing challenges as you are. Do not curse yourself when you forget giving your kid the prescribed drugs at the scheduled time. No one is perfect.
Remember mum, you still have a life. True, when that kid came , s/he changed all your life but have time for you, even just a little time. Accept help from those who you can trust. Have you met parents who are always bragging to you about their normal kids ?
Don’t mind them, ignore them if you can, focus on making your kid comfortable but if you can, advise them to quit the bragging. Or even brag about your child’s milestone, no matter how small. And please do not compare even with kids with the same disability, each child is unique. Lastly, enjoy the love of that kid for s/he could never ask for any mother but you. Laugh often, play and pray and let them always see life in a positive way despite their disability.
Happy Mother’s Day Super Mom!
First time mother
Bet you did not see this coming, huh ? The endless cries, the lack of sleep, the burning nipples, the lack of enough breastmilk and so much more. You have probably googled all websites on ways to ease your new life. You don’t understand why you can’t stop crying when you should be overjoyed.
You know what, it will all end. No, it’s not true that girls sleep through the night at six months and longer for boys! Don’t listen to those ans such myths. Kids are unique but one thing for sure, the colic will end when you least expect it too.
There is no manual for being a mother. Thank God you have google and Youtube to show you how to bathe a baby. Some of us had to live with aunties upcountry to be taught the basics of parenting. Step by step and you will see why so many mothers are proud of being parents. All will be ok. I know you have already vowed never to get another kid in your life. Haha, Let’s see you in ten years time mummy.
Happy Mother’s Day New Mummy. Welcome to motherhood. You will love it.
Mother to toddlers, threenagers
How many times have you screamt in a day, “Stop that!” or “Eat or I will…” or “I will not say this again!” C’mon have a laugh about it. It’s not like someone died! And please say it again and again, it might probably sink in the fourteenth time.
Give them some small chores and see how happy they get by being given responsibilities. Do not compete mummy with this baby’s temper. Hold yours, be empathetic and be patient.
You are a great mum! Your child can now speak and walk by themselves. They probably took their time to make those milestones but they made it and more are to come!
Sit down and enjoy the drama your toddler or threenager has in store for you . Enjoy while is lasts because that stage will be forever gone and you will miss it. Happy Mother’s Day.
Mother to Fours to Preteens
This is the funniest stage. They think they have made it in life. They are such confused sweet little angels. Now they have favourite toys, cups and even favourite parents.
Then the umpteen questions. “Mum, why is the sky blue?” “Mum, why did you tell Mama Carol that you have no money yet you have a lot in your handbag?”
Please be calm mum. Don’t, please don’t push that child away. Answer the questions where possible. Make time for that kid. Let them know that mummy loves them so much.
Be so approachable that your child can open up to you about sexuality issues. It might be your fault if your daughter started her period at ten and then told her aunty upcountry via phone yet you are in the same house. It should be you getting the news first hand but you are always angry at her for something she did or did not do.
However, you have done well mummy. See the child you held with wrapped shawls only a few years ago and here they are now all big. Big up mum!Happy Mother’s Day!
Mother to teenagers
This is the time as a mother when your patience and love is tested! This kid is now almost your height. They have broken their voices and the girls have breasts on their chests.
They will stand against the abusive spouse and warn them against hurting you again. Hah!The guts! Then tomorrow they will be rude to you when you order them to clean their room.
Have you noticed that in Africa most teeenagers are more disrespectful to their mothers than they are to their fathers? Tafakari hayo.
It will all be over mum but in the meantime, be firm in your instructions. You will not lose that child for telling him/her to be home by seven.
You have a lot in your hands, possibly other kids too. Try to be calm when this young adult pushes you to the wall. Try not to be abusive. You know about this stage because you have been through it too. That kid could say “I hate you” yet on Mother’s day they are dedicating a sweet mesage to you.
You have come a long way mum. Now you just have to accomodate this teenagers and his/her moods without letting go the approachability personality because that’s what mothers are for.
Some have most likely made very unforgivable errors, but you are the only hope for them for a better tomorrow. Happy Mother’s Day!
Mothers to all grown adults
Phew! Is that your feeling right now? Congrats! You just sent your child to the world to fend for him/herself. They are making you proud by their independence. You are so happy that you are now a grandma.
Just to remind you, it was all by God’s grace so do not take all the glory! They did not sent you money this month then you remind them how much you toiled just to have them a plate of decent serving when they were young. Don’t do that again.
Oh Mothers, how we love to remind the kids that we laboured for twenty hours before giving birth to them, as we emote pain and regret for bringing up such ingrates to the world! We should stop this.
At this stage, our work is done. We need to sit back and relax. They will show their appreciation if they want to but we are not going to force them to. They don’t have to anyway. The greatest reward comes from the Almighty.
And their choice of marriage partner, we have to accept them. Let’s aim to be the best mother in laws to our daughters and sons in law. Happy Mother’s to you. You have done the most!
And Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers.
Feel free to share this article to any mother or aspiring mother you know. Let her know you care.