The white man to some women is perceived as a ticket to wealth and a crown of prestige. The woman with such perception will flaunt her trophy to those who care. She will fill her social media accounts with selfies of the two of them on road trips, in bathrooms and in bed.
However, it’s idiotic to think that skin colour makes a man different from the other. The white colour on his skin doesn’t stand for purity. A player is a player, whether white or black or red.
So before you fall for one of the Mike Olivers, (white, black or red),follow these guidelines when dating a man.
1. Let him pursue you
Players like to chase but not for too long . There’s plenty too much for him to chase after, so he will not spend his entire life running after you. Tire him and test his limits. Say No to as many offers as he dangles. A player can’t stand too many rejections. But a man who knows he pursues the real deal, will not snap and turn around. He will keep on trying.
2. Believe in yourself
You are not the fortunate one because you have him. No, any man who gets you is privileged. You are a human being fearfully and wonderfully made, you don’t need to be complete with a man. It is you who completes a man. Stand tall and let the person who chases after you know that you are no one to mess around with . Value yourself and others will follow.
3.Do not rush
It’s not written in his forehead that he is a Casanova but time is the best revealer of character. Don’t rush to take that selfie, don’t be quick to kiss him and definitely don’t hurry to vive him your cookie. There’s no hurry in Africa, don’t spoil that. Take it slowly. Focus on knowing who he is, ask questions and note the answers he gives carefully. Then ask them again. If he ain’t straight, the answers will crush.
4. Don’t fall for the dollar
This is easy card for him. You need money, he knows it. He buys you a dress, pays for the bills and your taxi to his place and you think you have him to yourself. Please don’t fall for it. He did that to some other girl yesterday, the day before and the day before before.
This Mike Oliver type don’t mind spending some dimes to take away your dignity. You are just a name on a list. The money ain’t worth the shame and regret that comes after.
Instead of waiting for the knight in steel armour to sweep your feet off poverty, work your ass off to get your own money. Independent women scare womanizers away.
5. Do your digging
Find out who this person is. Stalk his social media accounts, check his phone, ask the waiters of the hotel he frequents. You can get a lot of info from these people just if you ask nicely. Who is his best friend? Does he pick all his calls around you?
There’s a funny meme, (can’t find it now) that goes like “If your man goes out when picking a call in search of better network, go out with him, be the good girl by helping him find the best network out there.”
6. Don’t fall for the smooth talking
A deceitful man has the gift of the gab. He says all the right things, only what you need to hear. He is the kind that acts as if you take his breath away when you come around him. He claims he has never seen a woman as beautiful as you. Note, his hand is now moving inside your legs.
He can win the Oscars for best acting because any small sign of rejection from your part can make him shed tears. Oh, he gets so weak that you might get tempted to hold and kiss him and let him have your heavenly treasure.
Girl, don’t fall for that. Let him cry it out . He will not die.
7. Don’t cheat for him
So your marriage is going through some rough patch and you just met this perfect man. You decide ,what the hell, a girl needs some consoling too! Big mistake.
There are better ways to solve your problems in your marriage and cheating is not one of them.
Truth is , these men just can’t kiss and not tell. It’s even more triumphatic for a lothario when he beds a married woman since he feels like a conqueror. Have you ever taken a bite off someone’s sandwich without their knowledge? Trust me, it’s the best feeling ever. It’s a memory to be relished. Now guess who the sandwich thief is and you don’t have to be told who the sandwich is.
8. Don’t be desperate
No matter how candylicious (adjective, from the word candy) the man is, or how moneyed that man seems to be, don’t DM him. So you heard that he has loads of cash and he likes women and an added bonus, he is foreign, therefore you slide into his DM.
That hi handsome in his inbox is a show of lack of self worth, desperation and vulnerability. It’s your inbox that should be filled with hi beautiful from admirers. C’mon, don’t stoop too low.
There are other ways of getting a man’s attention that can help you still keep your pride. Ask me nicely and I will tell. For now, leave his DM alone.
Don’t heed my advice and the next time the screenshots of your direct messages will be displayed all over social media and you will have nowhere to hide your face.
9. Don’t let him take control. You should.
If you finally decide that you will go ahead with him, make the rules. Don’t let him order your drink. (He will order what will make you drank quick,he is an expert in this matters) If he books room number 120, change to another room at the last minut with a good excuse why. (Last minute changes might be hard for him to re-set the secret camera).
Use protection, yours, not his. ( No need to give you the STD awareness talk) Say No to any kinky suggestion that you are not comfortable with. Promise him another day and then when you are out of that place, run and never look back.
10 . Don’t hate yourself for that one mistake.
You are probably embarrassed, regretful and self hating because you fell in the deceptive arms of a Mike Oliver. You are saddened by the patriarchal society that we live in that celebrates the man for sleeping with many women but condemns the same women for the same. This is life but it’s not the end of the world for you.
The social bouhaha will end soon. The Kenyan Ssenga and her foursome episode almost broke the internet but it’s now forgotten. The perverted uncle and niece sex tape is a thing of the past too. Yours too will fade away and something new and exciting will find us talking.
You are a wiser woman now.
And to all ladies looking for love, date with precaution. Love yourself. Be patient. Good things come to those who wait.