I was seated behind my computer, flickering through pages but not really seeing what I was doing. It was one of those lazy hot afternoons.
The corona pandemic had just hit the country. The invisible monster had spread so much fear in the country, no one wanted their kids mingling with the others. The African traditional norms were being threatened by this unseen monsters. All parents wanted their kids locked in their houses. I was no exception to my parents.
You see the corona had its advantage for kids like me. My parents were sticklers and using computers was limited to certain hours. But with corona somehow, I could go through the computer as much as I wanted.
I was like a kid with a lolly pop stuck to my mouth and I was going to squeeze the juice out of this machine; I navigated through the machine with little help from my pals.
“Jemo, please share the links to the movies, man. This boredom is killing.” Jemo was our guru when it came to technology stuff.
‘Davie, you know you gonna have to cough some mula for me, I am not going to do stuff for you guys for free.’ Jemo retorted back. And I just sent him the ‘muscles’ emoji.
‘Davie, just login to pirate-bay and you’re good to go. You will get nice movies.’
‘Jemo, you’re my man, thanks.’
I had downloaded lots of movies and music. The webpage had proved to be of use. I ravaged through the movies like a hungry wolf. But on this day, everything seemed to be stuck on boiling point.
The glaring sun blew hot wind to my face, the internet was awfully slow, and my movies were playing in hiccups like scratched cd’s. It was beginning to get into my nerves. I resorted to flickering through the internet pages aimlessly. Anything that popped, I pressed.
An animated image of a woman, performing somersaults like those chickens in town when set up in a grill popped. I giggled and directed my cursor to the lady.
Just like that, an image of woman with gigantic ass was thrown into my screen. A man full of veins with his enlarged member slapping this woman. He lay on top of her pumping voluminously behind and she made these noise-like screams; I couldn’t tell whether it was pleasure or pain. I froze, I tried to push the pause button, but my fingers were frozen. My own manhood betrayed me, and it threatened to tear through the zipper.
I hit the minimize button and rushed out. The glaring sun did not ease the discomfort in my shorts. Everything was hot. I felt some wetness in my shorts. The only semen I’d seen was my own – from my bloody wet dreams.
I needed to hide this shame. I rushed to the bathroom to find some coolness and ease myself. But when I got to the bathroom, the erection was there, refusing to die off; it was like it was making an argument with me. It wouldn’t go down. I resulted to staying in the bathroom for another thirty minutes.
The thirty minutes weren’t peaceful as my younger sister kept shouting my name.
‘Davie, come on, I also need to pee.’ Jenny said.
‘Just use the bathroom and pour water, I think am having a running stomach,’ I lied.
The damn thing wasn’t bugging, it still stood out of my shorts like a sore thumb. The erection eventually cooled off much later leaving me with a throbbing headache.
Maybe it was my punishment for watching the sinful act.
In that short period, it had left me with an adrenaline rush. That feeling excited me, but it also left shame and guilt. But I ignored the cautionary spirit. I justified to myself, if my erection could hold out for thirty whole minutes, I must be a pro. Even though I was yet to experience sex, I felt I could be the next macho guy.
I reminisced how in the school guys would say how difficult it was for a guy to hold an erection during intercourse for five minutes. Well, that’s how I understood, and I wouldn’t say it loud to my friends that I was a newbie to this. And damn, was I proud of myself and my superman powers down there.
I think it’s this burning desire to prove to myself time and time again that drew me closer to this site. The next few days I had two windows running. The incognito page was more active. The fear of being caught and watching the sinful acts of men and women doing unimaginable things to their bodies ignited fire on my lions and generated adrenaline rush in body that left everything pulsating.
What once repulsed me, was now exciting. What I once watched as if dust particles had entered my eyes; now my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets keen on seeing not to miss any details.
You know you’re headed for disaster when you cannot keep your hands off your own erection. It’s not about watching men and women ogling over each other, but you need this drug to quench an insatiable thirst.
Parents are too trusting of their children. I think it wouldn’t hurt to check and cross-check again on your kids. You trust but verify.
Here I was, my heart was screaming for help. Guess how long it took for me to be a pornographic addict…one year? Two years? Hell no! It took a shorter time than you can imagine. It took a whole month for me in between watching and pausing to check if anyone was approaching my doorway. Don’t judge me, I hadn’t started with an intent to become an addict, it just happened.
Written by Esther Kavee. Court Annexed Mediator. Great passion for kids and teenagers.
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